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NOH8

April 2011

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my (our) books

Fool for Love When You Don't See Me

Someone Like You I'm Your Man

He's The One It Had To Be You

The Mammoth Book of New Gay Erotica Best Gay Erotica 2007

Best Gay Love Stories: New York City Best Gay Love Stories 2005

Three Fortunes In One Cookie The Deal

contact

If you have any of the above books and would like them signed, mail them to:

P.O. Box 131845, Houston, TX., 77219.

Please include three dollars for return postage.

Send email to timothyjlambert@gmail.com


Warning: This blog may contain homosexuals which in the states of California and Maine have been alleged to destroy the sanctity of marriage. Read at your own risk.



Jon%20DeMichaelQuantcast


recommended courses of action


Scout's Honor Rescue is an all-breed, no-kill, Not-For-Profit 501(c)(3) animal rescue organization committed to bringing courage, character and compassion to Houston's homeless pet population and making a positive difference in the lives of these stray and abandoned animals and the Houston community as a whole. 100% of every dollar donated goes directly to saving the life of a homeless animal.

Scouts Honor Rescue Inc.

locally known

join(RED)

maine AIDS alliance

global AIDS alliance

UNAids

AIDS foundation houston

bering omega community services

frannie peabody center


Timothy's hair by Larry Henderson Hair Design.


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manly, yes? part deux


Once again, I was thinking about what it means to be manly. Just like the last time, this thought process was brought on by outside instigation. I was in my bathroom, brushing my teeth, and thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye. Warily, I spit into the sink, rinsed and proceeded to carefully scan the bathroom with the precision of the Terminator.

Yes, it's that time of year again. Palmetto Bug season. They're back, in full effect, invading my apartment in search of water. They're turning up everywhere; in my kitchen, in Becky's massage room, and always in my bathroom. Sometimes Lazlo, the freak cat, will catch one and bring it to me. A gift. He'll sit in front of me, looking really cute, and then he'll open his mouth and a palmetto bug will fall out. Usually it's still alive, too. Adorable. My worst fear is that I'll sit down on the toilet and feel something crawl across my ass. And any time I want to take a shower, I have to carefully inspect the tub, between the shower curtains, behind the bottles of Garnier Nutrisse products. (Which I highly recommend, btw.)

My most recent unwelcome guest was running around the product rack (Hi. I'm a big fag.), running from shelf to shelf, hiding behind brushes, combs, lotions, potions, jars and candles. I grabbed a sneaker (A pair of Puma sneakers I keep handy for just such an occasion.) and began the hunt. Of course, once my back was turned, he'd gone into hiding again. But I heard him flipping around the bottom of a metal bowl on the product rack, slipping and sliding underneath a bunch of those itty bitty hotel shampoo and conditioner bottles. I tipped the bowl with the Puma, hoping he'd jump out. No, not Mr. Palmetto bug. No jumper he, he flew out. And so did I. I flew out of the bathroom, while screaming.

To be fair (to my ego, my manhood and my last shred of dignity), technically I didn't really scream. It was more like a hysterical wail. Kind of like the noises Shaggy and Scooby made when the ran from some ghost or mummmy. (And I'd've done it, too, if it weren't for those rotten palmetto bugs!)

Anyway, I did manage to hunt down Mr. Palmetto Bug and squashed him with a Puma. I may be the kind of boy who wails and cringes when he sees bugs, but I'll smack 'em down and clean up the mess if I have to. Especially if they're infiltrating my product rack.

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