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April 2011


my (our) books

Fool for Love When You Don't See Me

Someone Like You I'm Your Man

He's The One It Had To Be You

The Mammoth Book of New Gay Erotica Best Gay Erotica 2007

Best Gay Love Stories: New York City Best Gay Love Stories 2005

Three Fortunes In One Cookie The Deal


If you have any of the above books and would like them signed, mail them to:

P.O. Box 131845, Houston, TX., 77219.

Please include three dollars for return postage.

Send email to timothyjlambert@gmail.com

Warning: This blog may contain homosexuals which in the states of California and Maine have been alleged to destroy the sanctity of marriage. Read at your own risk.


recommended courses of action

Scout's Honor Rescue is an all-breed, no-kill, Not-For-Profit 501(c)(3) animal rescue organization committed to bringing courage, character and compassion to Houston's homeless pet population and making a positive difference in the lives of these stray and abandoned animals and the Houston community as a whole. 100% of every dollar donated goes directly to saving the life of a homeless animal.

Scouts Honor Rescue Inc.

locally known


maine AIDS alliance

global AIDS alliance


AIDS foundation houston

bering omega community services

frannie peabody center

Timothy's hair by Larry Henderson Hair Design.

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over my head

I haven't posted much, lately, because I've been feeling crappy, and there's nothing worse than regular updates about someone's latest illness, as far as I'm concerned. I always think of the Internet as a gigantic ballroom filled with people in their grandest attire, a string quartet playing in a corner, and servers with silver trays passing canapes and petit fours to everyone invited. Would I suddenly burst into that ballroom, stifle the string quartet and loudly announce to everyone gathered, "Phlegm!" Um, no.

Despite feeling like crap, I managed to attended a required CPR class at Hanley Inc. last Saturday. It was at ten in the morning, but that was okay, because I've been going to bed at sundown, or whenever a hat drops. Hanley Inc.'s CEO invited some friends and neighboring corporations to also attend, so there were about ten people there. Before class started Hanley toddled through the crowd, smiling, waving, and blowing kisses while flashing an award winning smile, apparently thinking that CPR stands for Everybody's Here For Hanley. She doesn't know the alphabet yet, so it's understandable. The Big H and a couple other Top Founding Presidential Supreme Executive Boss Lady types were taken upstairs for naps, while the rest of us sat with a nurse and a bunch of dummies and learned how to save lives.

The last time I'd learned CPR was when I was around 14 years old in high school. It was part of Home Ec, for some reason, if I remember correctly. Maybe after they taught us how to bake blueberry muffins they figured we should know CPR, in case one of us choked on them. Anyway, I recalled nodding off to one of those dull instructional videos when I was a kid, so I was glad when the nurse we were learning from said there would be no movies or dog and pony shows. I was still tired and achy, so I knew the second a television was turned on I'd lapse into a coma and start drooling.

I managed to stay awake and retain everything I was taught. I was doing fine, until we were learning how to save a choking baby. In one hand, you cradle the baby's head with the torso balanced down your arm, and then you deliver five firm back blows to try to dislodge the object. Then you rotate the baby to the other hand and arm, breast side up, baste with butter, salt lightly, and administer chest compressions with your fingers. (Hmm...was that right? If in doubt, make sure you have a parrot.) Then you flip back and forth until the baby revives or help arrives. So we're practicing this with our babies--the fake ones, not the napping Executive Supreme Beings--when all of a sudden my baby's head flew off in mid-flip. It's plastic and hollow, so it made a lot of noise as it clattered across the concrete floor. Everybody laughed. The nurse said, "Or, yes, you can remove the baby's head."