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April 2011


my (our) books

Fool for Love When You Don't See Me

Someone Like You I'm Your Man

He's The One It Had To Be You

The Mammoth Book of New Gay Erotica Best Gay Erotica 2007

Best Gay Love Stories: New York City Best Gay Love Stories 2005

Three Fortunes In One Cookie The Deal


If you have any of the above books and would like them signed, mail them to:

P.O. Box 131845, Houston, TX., 77219.

Please include three dollars for return postage.

Send email to timothyjlambert@gmail.com

Warning: This blog may contain homosexuals which in the states of California and Maine have been alleged to destroy the sanctity of marriage. Read at your own risk.


recommended courses of action

Scout's Honor Rescue is an all-breed, no-kill, Not-For-Profit 501(c)(3) animal rescue organization committed to bringing courage, character and compassion to Houston's homeless pet population and making a positive difference in the lives of these stray and abandoned animals and the Houston community as a whole. 100% of every dollar donated goes directly to saving the life of a homeless animal.

Scouts Honor Rescue Inc.

locally known


maine AIDS alliance

global AIDS alliance


AIDS foundation houston

bering omega community services

frannie peabody center

Timothy's hair by Larry Henderson Hair Design.

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Hanley was very generous on my birthday. The Big H didn't just scream once, she wailed and cried almost all day long. She was the shrieking gift that kept on giving and giving until it hurt. Her schedule that day was packed; it was nothing but Eat, Sleep, and Scream, on a continuous loop. If I tried to put her down, she screamed. If I held her too long, she screamed. If I tried to put her in her bouncy chair, she screamed. If I put her in her crib, she pulled her Glock from under her pillow, pointed it at me, and screamed. She's a tough boss.

It was difficult not to take it personally. I felt like a total failure, like I couldn't do anything right, and that I should be fired on the spot. That is, until I smelled a horrible smell, changed The Big H's diaper and realized she was constipated. "Ah," I said. "That sucks. Carry on then." I tried adding corn syrup to her bottle later, which seemed to help a little bit, but not much. She still screamed. Even the dogs, who normally mill around my feet, hoping to lick a bottle or sniff the boss lady's diaper, stayed out of sight all day. When Chanh, the second shift nanny, arrived later, I thrust The Big H at her, said, "Here! See ya!" and beat feet for Hanley, Inc.'s parking lot.

Later, during my birthday dinner, we were talking about my day and Lynne said, "You should try apple juice. Just a little bit should do the trick." No sooner did those words leave her mouth when I received a text from Hanley, Inc.'s CEO: I called the doc and he said to give her apple juice. If a doctor and a grandmother recommended apple juice simultaneously, then it must be true.

Yesterday we diluted 2 ounces of apple juice with 2 ounces of water and I gave it to her in lieu of her breakfast bottle. Her eyes widened, her nose and forehead wrinkled, and her lips curled at first taste. She didn't scream, but she may as well have hissed, It burrrrrrrrrrrrrns! Her reaction was obvious: apple juice bad! From that moment it was obvious that Hanley had issued a moratorium on all things apple juice, because she wouldn't let a bottle anywhere near her without crying for the next hour.

In spite of Apple Juicegate and her ongoing constipation, The Big H was in a much better mood yesterday. Her schedule was much more enjoyable: Eat, Nap, Wake, Smile, Play, Laugh.

Later that day, when my mind began functioning better, I warmed the apple juice bottle to the same temperature as her formula. Bingo! This time she tasted it, looked somewhat startled, but then drank an ounce of the apple juice while knitting her brow, which I interpreted as her saying, You won this round, Manny Timothy, so I'll humor you and drink an ounce of this crap, but that's it. And then there was joy and joyness again at Hanley, Inc.