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April 2011


my (our) books

Fool for Love When You Don't See Me

Someone Like You I'm Your Man

He's The One It Had To Be You

The Mammoth Book of New Gay Erotica Best Gay Erotica 2007

Best Gay Love Stories: New York City Best Gay Love Stories 2005

Three Fortunes In One Cookie The Deal


If you have any of the above books and would like them signed, mail them to:

P.O. Box 131845, Houston, TX., 77219.

Please include three dollars for return postage.

Send email to timothyjlambert@gmail.com

Warning: This blog may contain homosexuals which in the states of California and Maine have been alleged to destroy the sanctity of marriage. Read at your own risk.


recommended courses of action

Scout's Honor Rescue is an all-breed, no-kill, Not-For-Profit 501(c)(3) animal rescue organization committed to bringing courage, character and compassion to Houston's homeless pet population and making a positive difference in the lives of these stray and abandoned animals and the Houston community as a whole. 100% of every dollar donated goes directly to saving the life of a homeless animal.

Scouts Honor Rescue Inc.

locally known


maine AIDS alliance

global AIDS alliance


AIDS foundation houston

bering omega community services

frannie peabody center

Timothy's hair by Larry Henderson Hair Design.

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beast of burden

Greetings from the suburbs. L____ has spirited Becky away to New Orleans, which means I'm housesitting, cleaning, and taking care of her dogs. Unfortunately, Rex stayed at home, because I brought EZ with me and didn't think I could deal with his hyperactive neediness, EZ's neediness, Sparky's diabetic craziness, and Minute the terror terrier. Getting here and dealing with my own issues was bad enough. I didn't leave home until rush hour and was sitting in traffic, waiting for a train to pass so I could move again, when I realized I'd forgotten EZ's food. So I had to turn around and go home. I raced inside my apartment, grabbed the food container in hand, her bowl in another, and locked my front door behind me. It wasn't until I was back at the car that I realized I'd thrown my keys onto the table by the door of my apartment and was not only locked out of the car, but my apartment as well. Stupid repetitious habits. I stood there, feeling like a complete moron, and then started panicking when I realized EZ was in the car, staring at me and grinning her Joker-like grin as if to say, Whatcha gonna do?

The best way to find out how burglar proof your home is is to lock yourself out of it. I can assure you there's absolutely no way to break into Becky's house. Mine, however, has its flaws. I won't say specifically how I broke into my apartment, but let's just say that it was a tight squeeze, and I scraped up my elbows pretty good. Once inside, I put my keys in my pocket, fixed the vulnerable spot in the Tim Lair to make my apartment burglar proof again, and was one my way.

When I got to L_____'s house I set up EZ's crate in the breakfast room so she could see me outside while I was smoking and trying to get Sparky to stop eating his way into the tool shed so he could get at whatever he saw crawl under it a week ago. It's not there, whatever it is, but try telling him that. He's blind and a bit nutty. He won't believe you. Once my nicotine levels were back at Orange level, I brought the dogs inside and watched with baited breath once they realized there was another dog in their house. Minute sniffed at EZ through the bars of the crate and EZ seemed genuinely curious and calm about it. They were almost sweet. Sparky tottered up to the crate, sniffed once, and then EZ barked so furiously at him that Sparky tucked his tail and crept away to the safety of the bedroom farthest away from the beast in the breakfast room.

That'll learn him.