timothy j. lambert

Becky and Mark both asked me what's up with the Moxie photo in my sidebar, so I thought I'd explain what "Make Mine Moxie" is all about, and why I put it there.

Moxie is a beverage first produced in the late 1800's—Hang on. I'll actually get up off my butt and do some research. *PAUSE* Okay, I'm back. Take two.

Moxie, introduced in 1884, is the first soft drink produced in our country. The word "moxie" was introduced into our lexicon because of Moxie, the beverage. Dr. Augustin Thompson of Union, Maine, invented the drink in 1874 and patented it in Massachusetts as a medicine, which seems to be par for the course with most soft drinks. It was supposed to be good for softening of the brain, as well as impotence. Boston Rex Sox's Ted Williams endorsed Moxie, with the catchy slogan "Make mine Moxie!" The slogan came from the jingle "Just Make it Moxie for Mine."

I know this probably means nothing to most of you. But for me, Moxie is a piece of the homeland. It's a big deal in Maine. Most Mainers love Moxie, or they hate it. It's got that kind of taste. A week ago, while I was banging my head on my desk and screaming back at the voices, I suddenly sat up and thought, I'd really love a Moxie right now! I haven't had one in years. So I sat and thought about it—as much as I could, because I'd just spent fifteen minutes tenderizing my brain—and realized I hadn't had a Moxie since 1990. That's (...divided by Pi...carry the twelve...) sixteen years. Coincidentally, that's also when I last had my teeth cleaned, which is why I'm doing that in January. Anyway, as I was saying, I was craving a Moxie, the voices were busy chattering about NYC real estate and the movie Panic Room, and so I went to Google to see if Moxie is sold somewhere around here. Allegedly, yes, it's distrubuted in Texas. But I've yet to find any. I'm starting to think I'm going to have to venture back to the homeland to attend next year's Moxie Festival in Lisbon Falls (which is relatively near the Lambert Homestead) just to stock up on some Moxie.

OR...because of the generosity of Greg, Lindsey, Rhonda, and Shanon, we've got enough BBQ Fritos at The Compound to take us well into next year, so if there's a generous soul out there who has access to Moxie and would like to satisfy my Moxielust, feel free to mail a bottle or two to Timothy J. Lambert, P.O. Box 131845, Houston, TX. 77219.

(Now all I need is a photo of Sally Struthers holding a can of Moxie...)